Envy, you bastard

For the longest, I've always been envious. Envious of someone's beauty, hair, income, friends routine, mindset. I have the ojukokoro syndrome to a T, always looking at what others have and neglecting mine even if I'm in a good space. Whenever I saw someone, I was always in a constant state of lack that it seemed they were always flaunting their "abundance". "Look at me, I have perkier boobs than you!!" "My hairline isn't struggling like yours, tee hee hee." I could blame this mentality on years of competitive boarding school life, where prepubescent males would draw up lists of finest girls and I barely made them. Or when my classmates would ostracise me because I was "disturbed". Or when my classmates would compare intelligence and say I'm not really smart, I just know how to cram. The fact that I remember these statements and events verbatim shows how much I've healed. I've not. Not really. I'm trying to. I'v...